>I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger!

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Today I turn 30. I don’t know if this is common, but I feel somewhat depressed. 30 years of age. For those who are close to 30 or just turned 30, you’ll understand exactly where I’m coming from.

Yeah, I mentioned that I feel depressed. Turning 30 is like getting slapped by a reality train. I suddenly question my accomplishments in life. Have I really used my potential to my fullest? Am I wasting my talents by not acting on this pit in my stomach and taking the risks that I wish to take?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m married to the love of my life and we have a great life together. We’ve got a house, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and we’re pregnant! That’s right, December 4th, I’m going to be a Dad! On the surface, I’m living the American dream of the 1900’s. By 1950 standpoints, I’ve made it! I’ve settled into an area, I’m an active member of a church, happily married, baby on the way. You may be saying to yourself, Sean-what’s the matter with you? Why aren’t you happy with these things? Truth is I’m very happy with these things. But there’s a part of me that want’s more! Not in a greedy way, but in a self-satisfaction way. Call it personal ambition or drive.
Those who know me best, know I need to be challenged every day or I’m not at my best. They also know that I cannot repeat the same thing day in and day out. They understand my personal drive to dream, learn, innovate, mature, etc.

In reflection, I fully believe, that I am not doing what I’m meant to be doing. There’s a Catholic saying that a sole is accompanied to the Gates of Heaven with St. Michael. When they arrive God asks “what have you done with the talents I’ve given you?” I think about this daily. It’s not a mystery that I’m craving the city life of NYC. Not a mystery that I demand more from my career path. I feel Atlanta moves too slow for me. Maybe I move too fast for Atlanta.  Regarding my career, I feel I should be mentoring, innovating, building, creating, doing a greater good.

I guess I’ll close by saying turning 30 is an eye-opener. It’s time to wake up and get going. Pinpoint what I wish to accomplish and make it happen. Please chime in with comments, suggestions, advice. I particularly like blogging because it acts as my outlet for self-expression. It also holds me accountable. This time next year, I’ll turn back to this post and see if that feeling of depression still lingers.

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One thought on “>I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger!

  1. >When you look back at this blog, a year from now you will be holding a 5 month old baby. There will be no depression felt only happiness. That is my wish for your 31st birthday.

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